Agrumentive Siblings — Wyatt Sumner

Intro

That fucker is back!
Yeah, I thought he was gone for good too
It's been seven years!
You still pissed he almost beat you that time?
Uh, fuck you
Just sayin'
Things have changed a lot since he left town
That's for sure
I gotta send a message of who's really in charge of things now

Verse 1

Welcome home
I'm gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone
Say hello to a new status quo
Everyone knows that there's a brand-new dawn
Turn the TV on! (Camera speeds, rollin' in three, two)

Pre-Chorus

Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain has-been
Who has been spotted cavorting around town
After a seven-year absence
Did anybody miss him?
Did anybody notice?
More on tonight's program
So, the radio demon is back in town
Why is he hanging around?
What does that mean for your family?
Well handily, I've got good news
He's a loser, a fossil and I don't mean to sound hostile
But the demon is a coward!
You can take that as gospel
Pulling my viewers? Impossible!
I'm visual, he's barely audible
Stop givin' him the time of day
Don't listen to a word he'd say
I hope he had a nice vacay
But he should've stayed away

Chorus

While he hid in radio
We pivoted to video
Now his medium is gettin' bloody rare
Hell's been better since he split
Where's he been?
Who gives a shit!
Salutations!
Good to be back on the air

Verse 2

Yes, I know it's been a while
Since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast
Sinners, rejoice!
What a dated voice!
Instead of a clout-chasin' mediocre video podcast
Come on!
Is Devon insecure? Pursuing allure?
Flitting between this fad and that, is nothin' working?
Ignore her chirping!
Every day, he's got a new format
You're lookin' at the future, he's the shit that comes before that!

Chorus

Is Devon as strong as he purports
Or is it based on his support?
He'd be powerless without the other Vees
Oh, please!
And here's the sugar on the cream
He asked me to join his team
Hold on!
I said no, and now he's pissy, that's the tea!
You old-timey prick
I'll show you suffering
Uh oh, the TV is buffering!
I'll destroy you, you little-
I'm afraid you've lost your signal

Bridge

Let's begin
I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone
Tune on in when I'm done
Your status quo will know its race is run
Oh, this will be fun

Outro

Fuck!